Your weekly cup of Zoe

"It's so weird to be back in LA." Rachel looks over at Brad (above). "I feel like you literally forgot your pants. I mean, and you have a linen tote bag ..."

Brad: "Hopefully this shoot is a Xanadu and not a Xanadon't."
Rachel, straight-faced and after a long pause: "Do you lie awake at night thinking of the worst jokes in the entire world?"
Brad: "No, they just come to me just before I say them. It's part of my gift."

"Perfume is the final step in getting dressed everyday. It's that perfect finishing touch." - Rachel, on the merits of perfume

"This smells too citrus-ey. I'd like a note of it, but not a whole song."
- Rachel on a potential fragrance

"I used to dunk myself in patchouli oil when I was in college." - Rachel being Rachel

A voicemail Brad leaves Rachel while she's in New York: "Hiiiii Rachel, it's Brad. I hope you're having a good time in New York with Taylor. I know you're probably super busy but I just wanted to let you know that my legs look really, really good in short shorts. Byeeee!"

"This shoot is a Xanadu story taking place in a gym and what we need is a big, hunky beefcake." - Brad, after he and Rachel are disappointed with the effeminate male models they've seen so far

"I really need to find the male equivalent of Jessica Stam."
- Rachel, frustrated

"You could've worn that in Paris, but you didn't get invited."
- Brad to Taylor

"Multi-colored, multi-fabric tranny heel. God knows what. It's absolutely all about the thigh high." - Rachel's final fashion advice for the season

Your weekly cup of Zoe

Rachel & Co. in Paris. I should be in this picture. Sigh.

"Look. Black and White. Coco. Chanel. Everywhere. Ugh. Dying."
- Rachel, passing the Chanel store with Brad

"... And those diamante leggings? I hope they're a trend everywhere."
- Brad, during the Ungaro show

"I think I'm going to pass out. I have on Coco Chanel's glasses."
- Rachel wearing Chanel's original glasses as she stares at Brad

"I am obsessed with the Beatles. I did my senior thesis on John Lennon. And I. Literally. Die. for Paul McCartney." - Rachel seeing Paul at the Stella McCartney show

"And all of a sudden," she says at Stella's show, "out comes electric silver dresses and like nubby purple mohair jackets and chunky knits that I just want to put on my body. Right now."

"This is beyond. This is OOC. Out. Of. Control." - Rachel admiring an 800 euro vintage Dior leather trench coat on Brad

"Rachel gets a little aggressive when it comes down to your purchases. She's like a vintage designer couture pusher. Buy it Brad. Get it. (in high pitch voice: 'Cause then I can distract Roger when I buy my coat!')" - Brad, in response

“How about I give you a raise?” - Rachel asks Brad, so he can buy said Dior trench coat and absolve her of shopper's guilt

"Backstage at Galliano is like a cattle herd. Literally, I feel like a cow about to moo." - Rachel

“I would eat this shoe for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.” - Rachel drooling over 12-inch platforms backstage at Galliano

"Platforms are here to stay. Get yourself some stilts, girls." - Brad to the general public

Your weekly cup of Zoe

“I don’t have time for this — I don’t have time for vertigo." - Rachel Zoe to doctor, after coming down with a crippling bout of nausea.

"Are you dying? That’s good. We wouldn’t want you to die. I don’t want you to die.” - Tay Tay, sounding quite insincere.

"The thing that I hate most about being the boss is when I actually have to be the boss." - Zoe on office management.

Your weekly cup of Zoe

I'm elated to see that I'm not the only one who (shamefully?) hearts the hilarity that is Rachel Zoe. Her assistants Brad and Taylor, her penchant for boho muumuus, her interaction with husband Rodger, who's been called "Rod Blagojevich in a Zac Efron wig". Yes, these are all comedic in their own right. But the true entertainment value of her show shines through with her random and oft-clueless quotes on profound topics like life, work, Ashton and Demi, and fashion. (Two episodes ago she mentioned that she "loves herself a sequin." See? Sequins are doable.) As one reader put it, "she's a hot mess, but that's why we all love her."

Anyway, her musings are too hysterical and/or poignant to let fade away into the cable television abyss, so I'll be compiling the best here for a weekly cup of Zoe. Email me if you've got any gems to share and I'll include them.

The new must-have Fall accessory: a Brad.

"Nothing makes a woman feel better than a whole slew of gay men cheering you on, striking poses and just making you feel good about yourself and making you laugh when you're feeling insecure."
- Rachel Zoe