Plan a wedding on a budget (Part 2)

Me on my wedding day. My husband is on the left, while his brother and my sister (my maid of honor) are on my right.

Part of the fun of planning a wedding is to personalize the details that make up your big day. Throwing cash at a wedding planner is an easy way to avoid the time -- and to some, the hassle -- of party prepping. But no one said "easy" would be the most cost-efficient. A few days ago I mentioned a few tips to have a snazzy wedding on a budget, from hiring your iPod to be your personal DJ to putting together your own wedding bouquet. Here's Part 2 of what would have been a novella if I had crammed it all under one post!

Things you can do yourself, contrary to what any wedding planner will tell you:

Table centerpieces. Bouquets, boutonnieres and centerpieces, oh my! It's seems like the glue that holds any wedding together (in the decorative sense, at least) are flowers, which, as the mainstay of any decadent party, will be most on display as the table centerpieces guests face as they socialize over lamb shanks and Pinot Noir. To many brides, these floral focal points can make or break a truly fabulous wedding reception. There have even been times in history when royal marriages failed only because the table centerpieces had been all wrong at the weddings. Okay, so that may have never happened, but you get the point: They set the theme for your reception's ambiance. But don't let the gravity of the matter deter you from constructing them yourself! I mentioned in Part 1 that you can buy all the flowers you want wholesale for a fraction of the retail price. Now imagine if you paid retail and had the arrangement done for you. Hint: It would definitely up the price. The total average cost for floral table centerpieces is $1,272, according to The Bridal Association of America (BAA). That's $1,200 you could potentially save by doing them yourself with wholesale flowers. (Ordering from a florist may cost even more than $1,200 depending on what style centerpiece you get and how many you need.)

And if you want more candles or other decor and less flowers, well that saves you even more! You can buy many decorations at Michael's or Jo-Anne's Crafts for cheap, especially if you use coupons. Floating candles, centerpiece dishes, ribbon and a myriad other table decor ideas await you in the wedding aisle. What are you waiting for?

Makeup and hair. Wedding professionals love to have you think that you won't look "your best" on your wedding day unless you have your makeup and hair professionally done -- for what usually ends up costing what could be a small home mortgage in some states. Guess what? The BAA reports that the average bride spends $183 on hair and makeup, and that number can double or even triple in larger cities, where beauty services are generally more expensive.

I get it: Part of the fun of getting prepped on the big day is that you get treated like a princess and have people dote over you, touch up your rouge, curl your hair, the works. I love being spoiled more than anyone I know (okay, almost anyone) and I think it's great to be pampered on your day, but I do think that makeup and hair is something you can do on your own. There are a plethora of YouTube videos on how to do both, and many are taught by experienced makeup and hair professionals. Pursebuzz.com and VideoHairstyles.com are great places to start browsing videos.

If you don't trust yourself, but don't want to pay the high beautician fees, than you could always check out a local beauty academy. Academy prices are a downright steal and any wedding-day-related services you get done (like a hairdo or makeup application) won't be permanent in case it turns out not to your liking. Just make sure you have a "practice run" a few weeks before you walk down the aisle. That way you won't be crying tears of mascara-ridden frustration two hours before the ceremony, frustrated and surprised by the too-curly poodle coif you're sporting. (Word of caution: Do not get a haircut or highlights at a beauty school directly ahead of your wedding day!) Right before I got married I had my hair professionally highlighted and cut by my stylist (which I do every 3 months anyway), and did my own hair and makeup on my wedding day. It turned out beyond fabulously! It is possible, ladies.

Bridal veil. Ah the wedding veil, yet another project I undertook myself when, after seeing the price tags on bridal veils I was riffling through, half-choked on my Chipotle soda I had brought along for sustenance. Maybe it's because a needle and thread don't scare me, or maybe it's because I can hold my own in clothing design, but $200+ on what couldn't have been more than two yards of tulle sewn to a cheap plastic hair comb was shocking. Absolutely shocking. I pushed the "bridal veil priority" to the backburner of my mind (I had already bought my dress) and let it simmer there, knowing that I'd be able to construct a better veil for far less than what I had seen in the bridal shop. And guess what? In about one hour on a Thursday night, I constructed my double-layered veil out of two yards of a tulle, a plastic hair comb, and about 5 inches of satin ribbon to hide the stitching. (Check it out in the picture above). Total cost? Here's the breakdown (all bought at a local craft store):

* Two yards of tulle ($3.50)
* Clear plastic hair comb (50 cents)
* One foot of satin ribbon ($1.00)
* White thread ($1.00)

Everyone was impressed with the final product, including me (since I had been in a hurry while crafting it). And it only cost $6.00!

Even if you're not a designer at heart, bridal veils are INCREDIBLY EASY to make. I cannot stress that enough. I know I've repeated that everything is "so easy" to do yourself, but trust me on this. I've seen veils sell for between $150 and $500, which is a complete and utter rip-off. (I don't care if it was featured in last month's Bride Magazine.) Wouldn't you love to use that extra $200 you saved on a veil to pay down your debt or put away in savings? That's what I thought. Next time you're at the bridal store, study one of your favorite veils from the bunch and examine the shape that the tulle is cut and how it's assembled onto the comb. This is how I usually get my ideas. If you feel you're still a novice in the sewing department, there's a plethora of veil patterns online that are a cinch to use. Check out McCall.com.

Wedding Cake. When Love and I got married, our wedding cake cost almost $2,000. Yes, $2k on a cake is ridiculous -- especially when most of our guests were beyond full when the cake cutting rolled around anyway -- but my parents helped plan most of my wedding, and they insisted on it. If I hadn't been so lucky to have such great parents I would have had to come up with a cheaper alternative to spending a small fortune on the tiered confection.

Bake it yourself? OK, that may be slightly out of the question (especially for those of us who aren't the savviest in the kitchen), but you could get creative with what kind of cake you budget for. For example, if you order a three-tier cake in plain white frosting and NO decorations, you could decorate it with your own ribbons and fresh flowers before it's presented at your reception. And be sure to check out what the bakery at your grocery store has to offer over a stand-alone bakery. Since they are usually independent franchises and cater to the wedding demographic, bakeries tend to have over-inflated wedding cake prices even for the most basic of flavors.

For the adventurous brides out there, the "it" desserts these days are cupcakes. Why not incorporate them into an avant-garde wedding cake? That would be so 2008. And the best thing is that a cupcake wedding cake is very do-it-yourself friendly. Mix and match different sized cupcakes in any flavor on as many tiers high as you want your "cake" to be. (Check out the example pictured.) Not only is this a fun, quirky take on the traditional cake, but it will make passing out "slices" that much easier. You and our husband can still cut one of the large ones and feed each other for photo-ops -- or lovingly smash the dessert into one another's faces. Either way.

But if you're a classic single-cake girl and refuse to give up tradition, what if you rented your wedding cake for the day and sent (most of) it back after the party's over? Wedding cake rentals have been all the rage in recent years, mainly because the cost far outpaces any bakery-bought cake. Don't worry, if you rent your cake you can eat it too -- well, at least the bottom tier. The top tiers are usually made of poly-styrofoam and covered with real frosting and fondant, so no one will be able to tell it's made of compressed packaging material. And if they find out your little secret? Well, that may be downright awkward. For more info, visit CakeRental.com.

Wedding invitations. Pop quiz: What costs near $1,000 and is thrown away after about one use? Gold-plated toilet paper may be a good guess, but I'm actually talking about wedding invitations.

After Love and I were engaged, we went to a chic stationery store in the Santana Row are of San Jose. (Think a 4-block version of Rodeo Drive, minus the airhead socialites and fake boobs.). I went in enthusiastic and I left jaded. Inside, the sales woman thumped three giant binders of wedding invitation samples in front of us, which we silently gawked at after seeing the prices. With the flip of every page I became increasingly amazed that anyone would spend that much on, let's face it people, something the majority of your guests will probably throw away after they've marked the date on their calendars. Not only that, cards are a cinch to make, and are better done yourself in order to get every detail exactly the way you want. No "extra" charges for ribbon or special-colored card stock required.

Before you sit down to create your enveloped masterpieces, browse ideas online and in stores for how you want your invitations to look, paying attention to what shape and color is your favorite. The accoutrements -- such as tissue paper and ribbon -- are usually the icing on any invitation, and can be bought for cheap at craft stores, where you'll also find envelopes in every color sold in bulk.

To save money on postage for your RSVPs, ask your guests to reply online or by the telephone. Starting an email account just for RSVPs (i.e. jonandkateRSVP@gmail.com) is fast and -- key word here -- free. We made our own invitations (pictured above) with pink, brown and creme cardstock, and topped it off with a bow glued between the layers.

Videographer. If you're on a budget, choose between either having a professional photographer or videographer. (I would choose the photographer.) For my ceremony and reception, I bought an HD $499 30-gig hard drive camcorder that my friends and family took turns using throughout the day and night. (This saved us thousands of dollars that videographers would have charged.) At the end of the day we had tons of excellent footage that was beyond easy to edit in iMovie. If you don't have a Mac for video editing, most cameras come with a disc that includes free editing software you can download. The best is that you get to add in all your own music, transitions and favorite shots without the videographer's cheesy choice of having Michael Bolton's "When A Man Loves a Woman" play during the slow-motion cake-cutting scene. Yuck.

Things I wouldn't skimp on, but would budget for realistically:

Professional photographer. That's not to say a $10,000 bill from a wedding photographer is at all called for or necessary, but there should be a happy medium between the uber-expensive and doing it yourself. The best photographers are ones who allow you to keep all prints and negatives, over them selectively choosing which ones to give you. Wedding day pictures will probably be the most important shots of your life so I think it's well worth it.

Wedding Dress. If you've ever had a day where you've just felt blah (and really, who hasn't?), you probably wanted to curl up in your PJs and wait for it all to pass. This shouldn't be the case on your wedding day. Feeling confident and beautiful will not only help you enjoy your big day day even more -- if that's possible -- but it will also help you shine in your wedding photographs. Don't just buy the cheapest wedding dress you can find because it's cheap, but "splurge" a bit if you need to get that wedding dress you know was just meant for you. Hey, sometimes fate happens.

Just remember that the right dress isn't always the most expensive, though. Anything with the word "bridal" affixed to it automatically sees a jump in price (it's the nature of the game in the wedding business), so try looking for a white dress that isn't necessarily for a wedding. These can include a white evening gown, or even a bridesmaid's dress (nobody has to know). To give you an idea of the drastic difference in price, you can spend upward of $2,000 on your dress while a bridesmaid's dress made of the same fabric will cost around $200.

Superfluous extras that will break your budget:

Transportation for wedding party, guest shuttle and/or parking attendants. You're plunking down a pretty penny so your guests can enjoy pricey food, bottomless beverages and styrofoam wedding cake -- er, you know what I mean. I don't think you also need to play public transportation for the day, too. If your ceremony and reception are in different locations, I'm sure everyone can probably figure out "how to get there" with maps that you'd provide beforehand. Most convenient for guests? No. Most cost efficient for you? Check.

Gifts for bridesmaids, groomsmen, parents and welcome baskets for out-of-town guests. All these extras would be affordable if your last name was "Trump," but in the real world they are unnecessary and tend to push budgets even higher. Your wedding day is more about you and your husband- or bride-to-be, not about your guests. I know you want to celebrate and spread the love on your day, but I doubt your bridesmaids are ever going to use those fluffy monogrammed pink garters you specially ordered for the occassion.

Wedding planner. As a bride on a budget, I'm assuming you're an innovative, enterprising, roll-up-your-sleeves and do-it-yourself kind of girl. This alone nixes the need for a wedding planner. Don't worry, your reception doesn't need to be the second-coming of a Rodgers and Hammerstein musical, with big-budget visuals and breathtaking fireworks, although the latter would be nice. A wedding planner is expensive and hypes up the day as if it were a giant theatrical performance -- one that you could direct yourself for less.

Remember, it's a special day, so don't spend so much time squeezing the worth out of every last penny that you over-exhaust yourself and wring the fun out of your big day. Just be rational about the easy things you can do yourself, and try to find the best deals on everything else that should be left to professionals. Great places to start thinking of ideas for do-it-yourself projects are Target's "Club Wedd" wedding aisle and craft stores such as Michael's, AC Moore and Jo-Ann's. If you don't mind "recycled" decorations, etc., don't forget to check eBay for excellent deals.

When you do find that you need professional help with something, don't scream from the hilltops that it's for a wedding. I know, I know. Getting married is so exciting that you can't help but tell everyone about it, but many of these florists, bakers and others make a living off of inflating normal prices when they hear the word "wedding." Just say it's for a party; they don't need to know. Seriously.

Youtube is also an excellent place to research the best ways to do things yourself, from makeup and bouquets, to centerpieces and invitations, if you're clueless as to where to start or just aren't that crafty, Youtube is a goldmine of easy, do-it-yourself online tutorials.

In a day and age where you can book your own flight, car and hotel sans a travel agent and you can invest in the stock market sans any stock broker, then you can definitely plan and prepare your own wedding.

Happy planning!

The $30,000 question: Plan a wedding on a budget (Part 1)

If you had $30,000 would you spend it all in one night?

Unless one too many margaritas have clouded your judgement in Vegas, I'm going to assume your answer would be "no." (The small amount that would consciously spend that much in one sitting can probably afford to anyway.) But what if you were neither rich nor impaired by inebriation, and were instead getting married? Would your answer to the $30,000 question change?

The wedding industry in the United States has been trotting along at a sprightly pace with its head held high for many decades, regardless of how the economy is doing. Recession who? Subprime what? Exactly. A total of $125 billion -- about the size of Ireland's GDP -- was spent on 2.1 million weddings in 2005, according to the "American Weddings" study conducted by The Fairchild Bridal Group.

WeddingChannel.com estimates the average U.S. wedding costs about $30,000 -- not including the engagement ring or the honeymoon. A breakdown of the $30,000 looks something like this:

Reception: 50% (Site fee; rentals; food; beverages; cake)
Ceremony Site: 2% (Location; officiant; marriage license)
Wedding Attire: 10% (Gown; accessories; groom’s attire)
Photography/Videography: 10%-12%
Flowers: 10% (Bouquets; boutonnieres; décor)
Entertainment/Music: 4-6% (Ceremony; cocktail hour; reception)
Stationery: 2-3% (Invitations; programs; thank-you notes)
Wedding Rings: 2-3%
Transportation: 2-3%
Gifts: 2-3% (Attendant gifts; favors)
Tax/Tips: 5%

Before I begin, a may-juh (or so Posh would say) congratulations goes out to Cali Bar Girl, who jut got engaged!! She asked if I had any ideas on how to plan a wedding on a budget because she felt that she and her fiance's income could go to better use than on a one-night wedding party -- perhaps paying off loans, or saving for retirement. I agree that when rationally examined, the money can definitely be put to better, planned-out use, such as a downpayment on a home. That being said, I feel like weddings tend to sap all rationality out of a budget, so no judgement on those who plunk down $50,000 to $100,000 on their wedding. (I've been to a $100,000 wedding and have to say, it was downright fabulous.) Most of us don't have $100k laying around, though, and probably wouldn't spend it all on a wedding if we did, so where to start?

First off make a real budget. Seriously. There are so many extras and details in the wedding planning process that if you dive headfirst into the riptide without a budget, you will most certainly be swept out to the sea of overspending. Statistics show brides tend to outspend their budget by about 15% on average when all chaotic planning is said and done.

So grab a cup of coffee and make a list of all details that will revolve around your big day. The list will probably look a lot like the bulleted breakdown mentioned earlier. You probably won't know how much is "realistic" to spend in certain areas, such as food, flowers and wedding favors (I know I didn't!) so do some research online to see how much on average things cost.

Once you've set your budget, the challenge for you savvy savers will be to get as much as you can done for far below what you have budgeted for. Consider your price points as "maximums" (i.e. the maximum amount you would pay for each thing). The less you spend on wedding details, the more you'll have left over from your planning budget to use elsewhere in your life, such as putting aside in savings, or paying down debt!

Right off the bat, there are four steps you can take to save loads of money:

Completely forego renting a traditional venue and have your wedding and reception at a state park, beach, or public garden. These days even a seemingly "lavish" wedding on a beach in Malibu is possible, since the state rates for public sites are a pittance (think a couple hundred dollars), and many sites have historic "clubhouses" or "mansions" that you can use to take photos, set up tables and get prepped in. (As an example, check out these state park wedding sites in California.) This will save you tons of money, since the cost of the ceremony/party venue can be upward of 30% of your wedding budget. For more information, google your state's official website and see what your region has to offer.

If you insist on celebrating in a traditional venue, say a local winery, then plan to have your wedding during an off-peak season. Spring and summer are the most popular seasons for weddings, so plan on paying top dollar for a wedding site if you get hitched during this peak period. If you're flexible with dates, check out prices between late October through February. The cheapest months to hold your wedding are January, February and March, according to WeddingChannel.com. In many places, such as the California coast, you can still have a "garden wedding" in the fall and winter because of the moderate climate.

Have your wedding and reception on any other day than Saturday. Saturday night is the most popular time of week for ceremonies and receptions. Try booking a venue for Friday night or early evening on a Sunday.

Choose flowers that are in season and easily attainable. I'm sure you really need that rare, eggshell-hued exotic genus of hibiscus ... or do you? To drastically cut down the cost of your wedding, research which flowers are both common to your area and are in season. Gerbera daisies, traditional daisies, chrysanthemums, statice, Queen Anne’s Lace, freesia, baby’s breath and gladiolas are generally the best-priced flowers year-round, while spring is best for irises, violets, daffodils and tulips. Lilies are abundant during the summer, and sunflowers and orange blossoms abound in the fall. For a list of all flowers by season, click here. I'm a classic girl and wanted roses (my favorite flower) at my wedding. Roses are notoriously one of the priciest flowers you can buy, but with a little research we were able to buy roomfuls of roses at wholesale prices in the colors I wanted at a local nursery. Research nearby nursuries and ask about special wholesale rates, even if they don't specifically advertise for this.

Part of the fun of planning a wedding is to personalize all the little details that make up your big day. Throwing some cash at a wedding planner is an easy way out, but no one said "easy" would be the most cost-efficient.

Things you can do yourself, contrary to what any wedding planner will tell you:

Why hire a DJ when you have an iPod? Enlist your husband's best man or your favorite charismatic relative (ideally before they've had five glasses of champagne) to announce the bride and groom's entrance, the father/daughter dance, first dance and toasts. No long-winded speeches by your "stand-in DJ" required. For the rest of the night let your iPod "wedding playlist" (which you planned in advance, of course) run on its own throughout the night for free. Music never sounded so good!

Wedding favors. Ah, the wedding favors -- yet another way the wedding industry suckles every last penny out of your wallet. There are many vendors out there who'd love to capitalize on your anxious desire to buy 150 boxes of personalized M&Ms at $5 a pop, or 200 boxes of heart-shaped "Love Beyond Measure" mini-measuring spoons (yes, they really do exist) at $3 each, but if you're on a budget don't give in! Wedding favors are one of the easiest things to do yourself. For some ideas: One of my friends burned CDs with songs they knew they'd play at their wedding, and personalized each with sticky labels and cases they printed out themselves. Or you can buy candles in bulk and cover each with a square of tulle and ribbon, which my mom did for my wedding. Target offers a bevy of favor box options (such as these or these) that you can fill with candy bought in bulk and adorn with ribbon. (One spool of ribbon, which is probably all you'll need for these, can be bought at any craft store for cheap.)

The wedding bouquet. Having a special wedding bouquet made for you by a specialist can cost anywhere from $100 to $250. Sometimes even more, depending on what flowers you choose and what kind of an arrangement you want (cascading versus hand-tied, etc.). A charming old Italian florist named Bepe made my wedding bouquet for about $100 in the Tuscan town of Lucca where Love and I got married. Stateside, though, it generally costs more, depending on where you live. Don't forget your bridesmaids and groomsmen will also need bouquets and boutonnieres. These extras can cost between $50 and $125 each and definitely add up, so if you're feeling creative or know someone in your family who is good with flowers and can help, make them yourself. There are a myriad of videos on YouTube (such as this one) that you can learn from and many professional florists even teach the tutorials!

Phew, that was a long post. Log on next time for cost-cutting ways to plan a wedding on a budget, Part 2!