Money and I aren't speaking at the moment

A dryer full of money would do me wonders right about now. (P.S.: You absolutely must watch Breaking Bad if you haven't yet. It's amazing.)

So I'm stressing about money right now. I know, I probably don't have the right to complain since I was the one who made the decision to walk away from a steady salary last year (a decision I still don't regret), but I knew back when I made it that times would eventually get hard and now those times have come.

I feel like I'm living in some alternate dimension of the life I'm supposed to be living. Kind of like there are different variations of my life playing out all at the same time, parallel to one another, and I just ended up getting caught in this computer-glitch of a variation, the one that snarls savage orders at me that I must comply with, like "You will eat that top ramen and you will LIKE IT!!!" In this current reality glitch I live across the street from a handful of dollar stores, "checks cashed" storefronts, a suspicious bowling alley, and my building reeks of general ghetto-ness ... the kind of ghetto-ness punctuated by neighbors who allow their dogs to use our elevators as toilets. In this life I get a puerile kick out of free samples in my mailbox, I share one washer and dryer with an entire high-rise floor (which takes strategic planning if you ever want clean clothes, people), and my "check engine" light is always on, warning me of some expensive repair looming on the horizon. Who am I?

Thankfully I'm not stuck alone in it all; J is also mucho stressed out, evidenced by my increasing reminders to "stop pulling out tufts of eyebrow" -- a bad nervous habit he has when things aren't so copacetic. (He's also got the added pressure of keeping up his grades to graduate top-third in his class next month, coupled with the general stress he's under on a daily basis to find a job post-graduation. Once he takes the Bar this summer I know he'll find the job he's been looking for -- and not have to settle -- but this still doesn't seem to raise his spirits. It also doesn't help that he's reminded of it all every afternoon as he chows down on his 99-cent turkey and cheese Lunchable at school like a fifth-grader.)

Not that we don't have padding -- we're selling some stocks this week to pad out our cash situation even more -- but it's disturbing how far money doesn't go in this country. (I guess it could be worse. I could be living in parts of Europe that, though beautiful, would result in me paying out the nose for everyday things like groceries while steeped in a land of 34% unemployment.) My part-time tutoring job pays well, but the hours are somewhat erratic and the semester ends in early May so those paychecks will taper soon enough. J is currently interning for free and taking no school credits for his legal gig at the SEC three days a week, so it's not as if he could pick up part-time work between the internship and his full load of classes.

Anyway it makes me really, really uneasy when our bank account starts to ebb, even though the cushion is still there. I'm a "buffer" kind of a girl and tend to get irritable when my finances tread close to my buffer. The bills are piling up and costs in the near-future are what are really getting us down. My private health insurance, his Bar class and test fees (about $5,000 total), our moving costs to get back to California ($1,500 for a Uhaul truck, not counting gas), and little costs are quietly adding up (i.e., his graduation invitations, cap and gown, Law Journal banquet tickets - $40 each, etc.).

It would be at this point in any sane marriage that a couple would crack under financial pressure and the relationship would fall apart. Luckily we aren't sane. Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger, I suppose. Like I said earlier this week: "If, as newlyweds, we not only get through law school, but also our financial situation this last year, then we're bullet-proof, kid." He agreed. Right now all we can do is laugh at the current circumstances. It helps that we find the humor in these even dire situations and can make light of our misery. It really does. Because the alternative would probably end up looking like a Shakespearean tragedy.

Needless to say I've cut out most everything I enjoy doing for the sake of saving whatever funds we have. This means absolutely no more shopping (I can't remember the last article of clothing I bought), no going to the movies, no traveling, no eating out (unless it's Taco Bell), no more concerts, no more happy hours, and no more buying whatever I want at the grocery store if it isn't on sale. And yes, I've become one of those people who reads through all my weekly grocery inserts and travels to each store to get the best price for different things on my grocery list.

I guess these complaints all lead in to my 28th birthday, which is on Monday. My last couple birthdays haven't been all that amazing and for some inexplicable reason I want to try and make this one special. Obviously taking a trip is out of the question, and now I'm wondering if we should even go out to a decent dinner. (Clarification: Technically we can afford a dinner, but in the effort of saving cash would we want to drop $60-$100 for one meal? Would I even enjoy the meal as I mentally balance our checking account with each margarita?) It doesn't help that J and I are attending a Law Journal banquet of his tomorrow evening that we had to spend $80 worth of tickets on, but I totally get that networking and socializing is part of the "education" at his school, and that establishing lifelong professional relationships with classmates there is part of the whole package. Still, $80 is $80.

So, this is where I'm at. I hate worrying about finances to this degree but I'm starting to think that the only way I'll stop worrying about money is if (when?) I'm disgustingly wealthy. Until then no amount of money ever feels like enough. Anyway I feel better venting about it and I know most of my worries stem from the cost of moving slash J taking the Bar. Putting down between $5k to $10k in a one month span is never fun, especially when I'd much rather take that money and save it as a down payment on some property. Or travel. But such is the way of life. Right now nonessentials take a backseat to priorities, but my chin is up -- I know it won't be like this forever.

Now, what to plan for my birthday?...

I did it. I quit my job.

Just breathe. Everything is going to be okay.

I kept repeating this mantra as I made my way to my CEO's office on Monday to officially resign. I suppose the first thing you'd think I felt when I walked into his office was triumph and relief. Something akin to the French liberation during WWII, but on a much smaller scale, of course. There I was, after all, taking my destiny into my own hands and carpe diem-ing. But for a few fleeting minutes, I felt quite the opposite. I was terrified. I knew I was going to do it, there was no question of that, but I liken the whole experience to skydiving. When push comes to shove and you take the final jump off that airplane, there are a few moments (which I may relive during the next few months or years of my life) where you're terrified your parachute won't open and you'll land, splat, in a field of cow dung, with those around you muttering "told you so." Walking in and quitting yesterday was that jump off my plane.

And guess what? After shutting his door, taking a seat and telling him I was officially, well, out of there, I knew deep down that everything really was going to be okay. I just needed to push off that plane with the force I had mustered in the last few months and not look back. So I did, and the feeling of being so in control of my fate and future felt (and still feels) fabulous.

I was terrified of cutting loose the security and comfort that comes with having a salary but the reality of my situation -- of all of your situations, actually -- is that money comes and goes. It's like water through your fingers. Keep what you need in a canteen at your side, enough so that you'll never go thirsty, and then go forth and work hard at what you love. There will always be more water, and there will always be more money. And if you feel like it may take a while to get to that next stream to refill, than learn how to make your water -- or dollars -- stretch until you get there. Just don't let your fear or uncertainty be what extinguishes you ever taking risks in the first place. Don't get stuck setting up shop near that first river you come upon, failing to ever go forward and see what other, bigger rivers lie on the horizon. Believe me, that first river can be mighty comfortable, but I think sometimes it takes "uncomfort" to shape who you are and make you stronger, more resilient and ultimately, more happy.

Will times get tough at least through this next year? You bet. There will be days I'm sure will feel excruciating, days when I'll feel like I have no money at all, days I'll wonder what the hell I'm doing up and quitting my cush job in This Economy, days I might actually consider buying one-ply instead of two-ply bathroom tissue just to save money. But I will always remind myself of what the suffocating alternative is. I may not have a lot of money in the near future, but I'm going to have the freedom to pursue what I want to make happen, not what anybody else's vision or dream is. And that's important to remember. No one said taking risks was easy -- that's why they're risks, after all. If they were a piece of cake, then everyone would want a slice.

But don't think that it was easy walking away from my job, my paycheck, security, stability and all those other rooted tendrils that ensnared me for the last two years in a web of oblivious complacency.

All my life I've followed a conventional path: I graduated with good grades from high school, went to college, grad school and got a job that steadily allowed me to pay rent, bills, shop and save. All those fun "life" necessities. I know a few people who don't and/or didn't enjoy being college students. Well let me rephrase that: They enjoyed the parties and "good times", but didn't enjoy the studying and the classes. They feel disappointed in themselves for following the structure traditionally set up for them. For me, it wasn't structure that made me go to college or grad school. At the risk of sounding nerdy, I loved being a student and debating with professors, going to class, studying, and writing pages and pages of lit analysis.

But I don't love holding down a job just to have a job. That's where I whipped around and looked Structure straight in the face. "What if you're not for me? What if I'm confident that I can make a damn good living without you?" I asked it during the summer of last year. It laughed at my naivety, telling me to stick it out for another year at work. So I doubted myself, and followed its advice. And now, a year later, I've caught up to Structure and told it I don't want it leading me around anymore. I'd step off its track and venture out into the forest to forge my own, unknown way. My success and earnings will now rest solely on my shoulders and the effort I put forth. From here on out, I will not get paid to "just show up." That fact alone is one of the most empowering feelings I have ever experienced.

Talk about judgment. It's palpable on the faces of some of my friends and even family. I can see it. After all, it's cute and all that I want to an be author, but what am I going to do about my real job? At first facing judgment from those I cared about, even if they tried to hide it, both hurt and stung. I quickly got over it though, and I harbor no ill feelings or dislike for those that don't understand. Three years ago, I probably wouldn't have understood either. It's important to remember that people are always at different points in their lives. It's somewhat of a miracle when an individual can truly empathize with the perspective of an another, so I've accepted being judged as not a flaw in the judger, but as human nature, and I've refused to allow it to ding my confidence anymore. The only person who can make me happy is myself. People will always judge your actions, opinions and beliefs, but if you are happy with your decisions at the end of every day, I think that's all that matters. Life is too short to pacify the barrage of judgment around you.

That's not to say I'm an eternal optimist. If anything, I'm too much of a realist.

It would be naive to assume that every dream pays off, that every hope not reached in the end wouldn't be laden with some form of regret for what was given up. But I'm willing to accept the consequences. I firmly believe that each one of us is in charge of our own destiny. Fate alone only takes you so far.

The new "it" fabric? Burlap.

Yup, burlap. As in the material that potato sacks are made of.

Call it a sign of the times, or "recession chic" or what have you, but for those who thought burlap was only relegated to Depression-era farm children swathed in coarse, itchy togas, think again. Burlap is back in a big way -- and not only that, if designer goods are your modus operandi, be prepared to spend big.

How big? Try about $1,400 for the Miu Miu burlap ensemble (above), complete with pink streak of spray paint, of course. I think the streak lends a certain je ne sais quoi, don't you? Or this dress, also about $1,400.

The New York Times is calling this new fad "bread-line chic". Clever. I call it "the Emperor has no clothes" syndrome. If you want a pair of matching shoes for your itchy little dress (move over LBD, the ILD is the new kid in town), then why not try Miu Miu's $600 burlap pumps? But why should we stop there. Why not, say, use the coarse fabric to upholster high-end furniture? Oh wait, that's already been done. I'm just waiting for a burlap bikini. Perhaps I should fashion one once Love and I get through cooking all the potatoes in our kitchen.

Seeing this I can't help but be reminded of that I Love Lucy episode, entitled "Lucy Gets a Paris Gown." In it Lucy decides to go on a hunger strike until Ricky agrees to buy her a designer dress, which he saves for until he finds out Ethel has been smuggling Lucy food. Ricky decides to teach Lucy a lesson by putting together a haphazard burlap dress and passing it off as a Paris original. Lucy believes him and wears it proudly. Hilarity (of course) ensues, especially because this is how ridiculous she looked:

"Coupon Queen" spends $10 on $150 worth of groceries

I'm speechless (and impressed):



Is this seriously possible? I know it takes a lot of research and hard work, but still. (P.S. Love the image of this tiny woman with a Brooklyn accent pushing a giant overflowing grocery cart almost as tall as her through the aisles of her local supermarket. Priceless.)

The Sad Clown

Betty, post-meltdown

I was watching a rerun of Mad Men Season 2 on AMC last night when I was reminded -- as if I needed reminding -- why I think it's the best drama on TV, period. It so beautifully captures a time period in our nation where we were hanging in a balance; WWII had ended, the Vietnam War hadn't yet happened, the Kennedys were in power and you knew you were living the American dream if you owned a powder-blue boat of a Cadillac replete with fins.

As we all know now in hindsight, this world was not set up around a pillar of equality. Women had their place, and that was generally in two locales. If you were married, you played house, raising the children, cooking, cleaning, running errands, and looking pretty and proper as arm candy at your husband's work functions. All other women worked "out there" in the real world, which tended to elicit sympathy and is another post to come.

Anyways, the episode last night (called a "A Night to Remember") is one of my favorites and includes a scene in which Betty Draper finally confronts the fact that she and her husband (Don Draper) are on unequal footing. Not surprisingly, she feels vulnerable and embarrassed. Embarrassed because what finally spurs this flitting thought to take a seat front and center in her consciousness is that she suspects Don of cheating on her, and not only that, she feels like everyone must know except her -- as if this elusive world of men that Don is a member of is all in on it. And she's right -- everyone knows...Betty was just the last to find out.

A little background: Before the confrontation, Don and Betty have a dinner party for Don's coworkers, which Betty has painstakingly spent days preparing for. In her polka-dot "clown" dress, Betty offers Heineken to the gentlemen, which elicits lighthearted laughter because (unbeknownst to her) Don has been working on a Heineken ad campaign in the office. The embarrassment from the dinner party carries over to Betty's confrontation and climaxes with her telling him that he knows her so well and she knows nothing.

I can't help but wonder how many of our grandmothers had similar conversations at some point early in their marriages, during the 1940s, 50s and early 60s. After all, men were heads of the house and women came second, including in any decision-making that involved the family or finances. Because men were characteristically seen as "providers" for the family, I think it was subconsciously accepted that they could do as they pleased because they brought home the bacon and held the purse strings. This sort of financial power that men held gave them a sense that they afforded their philandering lifestyle and crippled women like Betty into the submissive Stepford wife she portrayed all through Season 1.

To TV watchers, not only does Betty know nothing about where Don is every day, or what kind of affairs he carries on with, she also literally knows, well, nothing -- especially about the family's finances. If Don were to leave for good, Betty would have no other option than moving back in with her parents (her two children in tow), and it's this sort of purgatory that kept so many women in the 1950s and early '60s stuck in dead-end marriages. Not only was there a financial incentive to stay with your husband, but also divorce was not a term thrown around lightly. (A divorced, single mother that lived down the street from the Drapers in Season 1, for example, was looked at as a pariah in the community.) To be a female divorcee translated to being a failed woman.

Again, this Mad Men story line resonates because similar scenarios have happened to many of our grandmothers -- and maybe even our mothers. I'm not some raving feminist, but I can't help but be grateful that as women we now have the right to choose what we want our lives to be and we all have the freedom to be in charge of our finances, stigma-free. I love being married (and I admit, I do love Don Draper, the cad), but it's refreshing to know that nowadays we don't have to get married to feel financially secure, or fully depend on a man (and a cheating one, at that!) to make the right financial decisions for us because we have no other option.

For the entire day after the confrontation, Betty pads around the Draper house in her disheveled party dress from the night before, makeup in disarray, and rifles through Don's suits and desk, trying to find any evidence of his cheating ways. The image that struck me most in this scene was when Betty sat in Don's desk chair in his home office, trying in vain to open his locked desk drawers that undoubtedly carried the family's files on everything from finances to health insurance. These were drawers Betty, as a wife and woman, was not allowed in.

Betty looked so out of character sitting in Don's chair, as if she had usurped -- for a brief moment, at least -- his head-of-house throne. Luckily for us, though, head of house is a character we can all play now.

What happens when the empty nest isn't so empty?

Here's a guest post from my friend, freelance writer Trisha Wagner. Enjoy!

Do you remember the first time you moved away from home? The feeling of excitement, independence and freedom? The joy and trepidation of finally striking out on your own with no parents looking over your shoulder or bossing you around? I know I remember those feelings well and nothing ever compares to moving into your first place. Now imagine fast forwarding five, ten or even fifteen years and having to face the fact that you can no longer make it on your own. While it has become somewhat common for some college grads to bounce back to the family homestead until they get “established” the current state of the economy is forcing grown men and women out of their homes and back to mom and dad's place.

With the tough economic times that we are facing, this situation is becoming a reality for many families. To say the least this arrangement can be stressful for both parties and it is important to set some ground rules to prevent both of you from falling back into your old roles. The following tips can help you get in and out of the family home with the least amount of disruption to all involved.

Set Rules Before Moving Home. This is important for both the parents and the adult child to establish what is expected of all parties. If the move home is a result of a financial hardship, agreeing on what will be expected of you will go a long way toward a peaceful co-existence. Due to the current state of the economy your parents may want to help you financially but find themselves unable due to their own financial situation. Both parties need to agree and feel comfortable discussing these financial responsibilities before you move home.

Be Respectful Of Privacy. Let's face it, you have grown accustomed to having your own space and so have your parents. Remember this is their home and just because they want to help you doesn't mean they will relish having another person (even their child) hanging on the sofa all day. Be respectful of their privacy and the daily “routines” that we all have.

Have A Plan. Remember moving back home with the folks should be a temporary arrangement to help you get back on your feet. This means if you are unemployed you should continue to look for work. If you are currently working, you should be extra mindful of your spending habits. You don't want to be a mooch, cost your parents more money or spend your paycheck on fabulous new shoes. Make the most out of this opportunity to get your finances in order by saving as much money as you can possibly afford. This may mean making sacrifices or adjusting your lifestyle but that is the reality of your life at the moment.

Learn From Your Mistakes. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. Successful people however learn from those mistakes. There are many reasons why an adult child may be forced to move home. Some situations are out of your control (loss of employment or major medical issues). Other circumstances may have been preventable had you managed your finances better. Don't let past missteps stop you from moving forward toward your financial goals; establish where you went wrong and make the changes necessary to prevent the same mistakes from happening in the future.

While no one wants to move back home under the watchful eyes of their parents, certain situations may leave you with no other options. At a time when your pride might be hurting don't forget to be thankful and appreciative that you have parents and a home to fall back on-- not everyone is as fortunate.

Trisha Wagner is a freelance writer for DepositAccounts.com where you can compare rates of deposit accounts from dozens of banks in one place. Trisha writes regularly on the topics of personal finance and savings accounts.

Stephanie Pratt: Poster child for jaded youth

FYI Lauren: Buttercup (aka Robin Wright Penn) called from The Princess Bride -- she wants her hairdo back.

Show of hands of those who caught The Hills last night. Don't lie. All right, even if you "don't watch" (liar) this vapid farce of a true TV drama that also happens to double as the guiltiest of my pleasures, there was a scene last night in which Spencer Pratt's sister, Stephanie, an aspiring (I use that word loosely) fashion student (also, used loosely), interviews with People's Revolution for a fashion intern opening. The scene culminates with a befuddled Stephanie, barely able to string words together in a coherent sentence, obvi illustrating that this interview is probably one of the first interviews this blonde LA FIDM student has ever actually partaken in. Sad.

But what's more sad? When People's Revolution owner Kelly Cutrone asks what her objective is, Stephanie blurts out: "I want my own handbag line." Don't be fooled by the way it's typed. It wasn't said with an assertive confidence, as if the girl had always wanted to design bags her whole life. It was said with trepidation...a hesitancy that suddenly made millions of us viewers (me included) painfully aware that this girl has never truly thought about what she wants to do for a "real" living...you know, in the "real world" outside of The Hills. What's even more sad is that (and maybe I've just become a curmudgeon in the ripe days leading up to my 27th birthday), it seems like there are more "Stephanies" out there than usual these days, wearing tiaras of entitlement as if the world owes them any semblance of a clothing line (ahem, L.C.), commercial gig touting Yaz birth control (ahem, Lo), or some pathetic handbag line (ahem, Stephanie).

I read an article a few months ago that examined the career aspirations of "Generation Myspace," and guess what the takeaway was? Essentially, a decade or two ago, when youngsters were asked what they wanted to be when they grew up, you'd get the token answers: Doctors, astronauts...you get the picture. When that same question was recently asked of an up-and-coming group of pre-teens, the answers were starkly different. The overwhelming response was that the herd wanted to "be like Paris Hilton" when they grew up. And can you really blame them? We've made it seem like winning a spot on America's Next Top Model, slutting it up in Rock of Love, or sunning on Roberto Cavalli's Mediterranean yacht after a botched boob job and three stints in rehab (a la Tara Reid) are all viable career options. That's what's mostly sad. I'm all about following your passion, but placing your chips on Mtv-produced dreams just because you or someone you know (sorry, Paris Hilton doesn't count) was born with a silver spoon in their mouth doesn't make you a handbag designer, a "real" novelist (LA Candy? C'mon) or a perfume whiz (Four words: "Dashing" by Kim Kardashian). What has happened to the real value of work? Oh wait, India is calling, let me ask them.

I think Gawker summed up my sentiment perfectly in their latest Hill's recap, touching on Stephanie's ill-fated interview:

"The thing about the handbag thing... Didn't Spencerina just seem so dumb at that moment? Like, the thing always seems like a hopping idiot, but this was special. Dumb because, really, this girl has clearly not taken one fucking honest hour's worth of her time to just sit down and think about what she wants to do with her life. So here's dumb, fattened, aimless youth, everyone. This hideous thing yipping about handbags as if that's a job. It's not a job. Neither is "I'm going to have my own skin care line," idiot on Real Housewives of Orange County. None of that is real. But more importantly, don't act like anyone owes you these ridiculous non-jobs. You aren't owed shit. You owe us. You, Spencerina the Brave Mumbling Idiot, you owe us."

Touche, Gawker. Touche. I don't think it's going out on a limb to say that I fear for the future.

Rant over.

Surprise! PMS linked to shopping

Not like we don't already know that a little retail therapy is, well, therapeutic when Aunt Flo comes to town, for any still in doubt a new study out by a British professor suggests that there is, in fact, a correlation between menstrual cycles and that urgent need to spend money at Banana Republic.

According to the study, which surveyed 443 women aged 18 to 50, in the 10 days before their periods begin, respondents were more likely to go on a spending spree than at any other time.

Psychologists believe shopping could be a way for premenstrual women to deal with the negative emotions created by their hormonal changes.

"Spending was less controlled, more impulsive and more excessive ..." Professor Karen Pine told the BBC News."The spending behavior tends to be a reaction to intense emotions. They are feeling stressed or depressed and are more likely to go shopping to cheer themselves up and using it to regulate their emotions."

Not surprisingly, most of the purchases made by the women around their cycles were for adornment, including jewelery, make-up and high heels (i.e., items that make you feel pretty but don't have to be bought in a specific "size", as bloating can make you go up a full clothing size).

Just something to keep in mind the next you have that hankering for a pint of Ben and Jerry's ... and 28 pairs of shoes from DSW. [BBC]

Travel for cheap this summer

I'm obsessed with the Travel Channel. For the last three months, I've lived vicariously through Anthony Bourdain and Samantha Brown, following them around as they traipse to the far reaches of the earth in search of the best foods and cultures.

What's recently began happening, though, is I'll flip through my DVR (chalk full of Travel Channel shows at the moment), settle in excitedly to watch Anthony immerse himself in Provence, and an hour later I'll be whimsically depressed, cursing the day I ever decided to not be a host for a Travel Channel show. (Not like that was ever a clear-cut option, but you get the point.)

These days my budget doesn't allot for the wayward three-day weekend in Spain, or the month-long vacation-on-a-whim in the heart of Tuscany, but if I tone down my excessive tastes, I may yet be able to squeeze in a trip or two this year. Women's Day recently published a fabulous article, "Can You Afford to Go on Vacation", that has excellent pointers in planning a vacation on a budget. Among my favorite tips:

• Stay close to home and still have a great time (plus save on travel expenses) by opting for a summer getaway that you can reach with one tank of gas or less. Check out TripAdvisor.com/TankOfGas for destination options, then research sights and activities online. If a local bed-and-breakfast stay is on your agenda, look for one that’s part of the Free Gas promotion: Guests get a gas rebate or a gas card for refueling. Find participating B&Bs under “Special Packages” at BedandBreakfast.com.
• “It’s usually cheaper for families to rent a vacation home for a week than to spend seven nights in a hotel,” Gregory Karp, author of Living Rich by Spending Smart, tells WD. “You’ll get more space for the money and will save on food by cooking meals.” Go to HomeAway.com, VacationHomes.com or VacationHomeRentals.com
• Trading houses with another vacationing family is a growing trend. To make it work, take precautions: Get references. Agree on house rules. Have several phone chats to make sure you’re comfortable with them. Request home photos or videos. Lock valuables in a safe, or leave them with a friend. Have a neighbor check your home while you’re away. Learn more at HomeExchange.com.

Remember what happened in The Holiday? Yeah, that could be you. Hopefully Jude Law would somehow be a part of that package, too.

For the complete article and to learn more frugal travel tips, visit WomensDay.com.

Spruce up your finances this Spring

Ladies, it's that time again.

Rainy day showers may be slowly traversing their way across the March and April months, but the bright, bold clothing in store windows, sky-high wedges creeping back out onto department store floors and laquered-red Ferragamo bags that seem impermiable to any reccesionary pressure to just. go. on sale. (fingers crossed), it can only mean one thing: Spring is finally here! But before you dust off all those fabulous dresses and skirts hiding in the back of your closet, it may be time to dust off your finances first.

This spring, if your closets are more organized than your finances, view it as a sign that it’s time to take action. Women & Co. founder Lisa Caputo and president Linda Descano recently offered some divine tips to help spruce up your finances and put together an action plan toward better financial health. Check these out before heading into the nearest mall armed with your cash and/or cards to kick off your Spring shopping spree:

• Gather your financial records. Pull together your financial statements (e.g., bank, credit card, brokerage), your insurance and legal documents (e.g., life insurance, will, healthcare proxy), and your personal records (e.g., birth certificate, marriage/divorce certificate, property deed). Create a filing system and put a copy of your important papers either in a fireproof box at home, a bank safe deposit box, and/or with a trusted lawyer, relative, or friend.
• Get the big picture. Use your financial statements to calculate your net worth, which will tell you the difference between what you own (assets) and what you owe (liabilities). Once you have a picture of your overall net worth, determine your cash flow, which will help you identify areas where you could be saving and/or investing more.
• Set financial goals. Short-term goals are those you’d like to accomplish within one year (e.g., pay off credit cards); mid-term goals, within 5 years (e.g., make down payment on a new home); and long-term goals, 5 years or more (e.g., save for retirement). Write these down to help you clarify and prioritize your financial goals.
• Allocate your money. Once you know your financial goals, allocate your money accordingly. This will help you determine how realistic your financial goals are, how long it may take to meet them, and what adjustments you may need to make now to achieve your goals in your desired time frame. Review expenses monthly and evaluate your progress regularly.
• Check your financial reputation. Your credit score is a picture of your financial health in the eyes of lenders. Check your credit reports as they could have errors or discrepancies that could limit your access to credit. Resolve any errors and if you have any over-due payments, work towards paying them down as soon as you can. The three organizations that issue the most commonly referred to credit reports are: Equifax (www.equifax.com), TransUnion (www.transunion.com) and Experian (www.experian.com).
• Protect yourself. If you don’t have a will, living will, or health care proxy, speak to an attorney to help ensure that your assets are handled according to your wishes. Dealing with these issues today can help you and your loved ones breathe easier in the future.
• Stay informed and engaged. Periodically review your goals and objectives at least once a year, as they will likely shift over time as life circumstances change.

Hope these tips help!

One list you don't want to be on

When I arrived in Vegas last week for a 4-day romp of pina coladas, dancing and pathetic gambling attempts at the nearest slot machine, the one thing I didn't think was "Man, Vegas feels...empty." Maybe it was because I didn't stray far from the strip, or maybe I was too preoccupied with all the divine shopping and food (dinner at Tao = fabulous!!). Regardless, at the end of the day I was yet a lowly tourist, passing through to enjoy the best of what the city had to offer on one street. If you take into account what's going on outside of the Luxors and Bellagios, though, the state of things isn't so rosy and pina colada-tinged.

According to Forbes, which released a list of the 15 emptiest cities, ones central to sagging industries are suffering the most. This is obvious, especially with cities like Detroit, where automakers (and all the other industrial companies that depend on them) are struggling to stay above water. But cities like Miami and Chicago also made the list, which surprised me. Number 2 on the list? Yup, that'd be Las Vegas, which I assume depends heavily on tourism and company conferences and events to bolster the local economy.

Being "on the list" is something all of us usually strive for (oh how very VIP sounding it is), but this is one list I wouldn't want to be on, as the likelihood of finding employment is bleaker. I'm curious: Are you on the list?:

Detroit, MI
Las Vegas, NV
Atlanta, GA
Greensboro, NC
Dayton, OH
Phoenix/Mesa/Scottsdale, AZ
Orlando, FL
Kansas City, MO/Kansas City, KS
Indianapolis, IN/Jacksonville, FL
Miami/Ft. Lauderdale/Miami Beach, FL
Chicago/Naperville/Joliet, IL
Tampa/St. Petersburg/Clearwater, FL
Bakersfield, CA
Charlotte/Gastonia/Concord, NC/Cincinnati, OH/Middletown, KY

If so, how has it affected community morale?

Recession not an excuse to go crazy with glue gun

I'm a devout believer that being fashionable is something anyone can do on any budget. While I drool over Burberry trench coats and the current object of my obsession, the Chloe Kerala bag, I also kneel at the altar of Target and have been known to "make it work" at Forever 21.

But there is a difference between being practical and being a zipper- and double-stick-tape-wielding crazy person, fresh off the Home Ec. boat. Behold yesterday's Today Show segment about "DIY solutions" to looking fashionable on a budget this spring, spearheaded by one Bobbie Thomas, an alleged "style editor":

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

I think this delectable morsel of a clip can teach all of us on a budget a few lessons about looking fashionable and not foolish:

Do:

• Shop online before you hit stores to find the best deals on that cute A-line skirt or little black dress you've had your eye on. Doing your homework before you leave the house will save you time, and inevitably, money. You can take solace in knowing you really did find the best deal possible on your chic new heels, because Google told you so, after all.
• Play up the season's trends through accessories (such as scarves, necklaces, chunky rings and/or a new clutch), and not pricey, trendy pieces that will look so last season in about, oh, 3 months. Please, just put down the leather fringe. This isn't "Can't Buy Me Love" and no one looks good in a fringe-trimmed jacket, no matter how much you love young Patrick Dempsey.
• Take the time to browse the sales racks, but if you really want to invest money in your wardrobe, always spend more on your classic items, such as a khaki trench coat, slacks, pencil skirt, et. al. These are timeless staples in your wardrobe that will stand as the foundation to all your cheaper, "throw away" clothing.

Don't:

• Throw zippers all over your clothing and call it art. You are not Andy Warhol, nor are you Philip Lam. And no one wants to be the one to have to tell you that your exposed zipper fell off, um, about a block ago.
• Hot glue leather fringe on anything, Pocahontas. This includes purses, shoes, or frumpy black cardigans.
• Roll up one of your dress sleeves and think someone will believe your dress is Missoni and not Marshall's. A kind friend will probably begin tugging at your sleeve, much like they would help you if your tag was unwittingly sticking out.
• Listen to Bobbie Thomas.

Free zebra tote

Happy Sunday, my darlings! I hope you're having a divine weekend. I just want to share a fabulous offer that I came across this morning and believe is worth passing along.

Have you ever heard of ViX? I hadn't till now, but apparently they're an expensive swimwear company that I'd normally never order from (my budget allots for $20 bikinis at Target...and that's about it). ViX bikinis run around $150 (yes, $150 for less than a half a yard of fabric) and are featured in magazines like Vogue, making them highly coveted yet inaccessible to those of us on a budget. But there's good news, especially for us animal-print lovers.

ViX is giving away free complimentary zebra-print totes just for signing up to be a member of their site. When I saw the tote, I fell in love -- it would be such nice arm candy for this summer, lazing on some beach in the south of France on a towel next to me, my toes grazing the warm Mediterranean waters. (Ok, I may just pretend I'm doing that as I'm choking on the shores of the Potomac in 85% DC Summer humidity.)

Nevertheless, here's the link. Not sure how many they have in stock, but it seems this deal just debuted: http://www.vixswimwear.com/vip-signup.asp

Use restaurant coupons without feeling like a tightwad

You landed a sweet coupon for ‘buy one entree, get one free’ at your favorite eatery, but you’re leery about actually cashing it in. Sure, you’re into saving money, but will you come off looking like a cheapo? Will the waiter snicker behind your back? Not in the least. “In my opinion I don't think coupons are bad at all because it gives people a reason to come back. I am all for the restaurant being busy every weekend so I can have more change in my pocket”, Matt Dragone, a server at Bertucci’s, told RedPlum.com. But Matt, along with other veteran servers, will tell you that there are a few simple rules to follow to ensure that your dining experience is a pleasant one for all involved.

RedPlum asked over 100 servers what tips they would offer to restaurant patrons using coupons. Here’s what they all had to say: Be kind to your server. It may seem like a no-brainer, but kindness goes a long way. “Waitresses understand trying to save a little money and as long as the customer is polite I wouldn't think anything of (a patron using coupons)”, says waitress Andrea Start to RedPlum.

Tip should be based on the pre-coupon total. Every server RedPlum polled agreed that leaving a tip on the original amount of the bill – pre-coupon discount – is the single most important factor in them coming away from a coupon user without a bad taste in their mouth.

Don’t skimp. Your tip should reflect the level of service you received. Most servers agree that 15-20% is an adequate amount to tip for good service. “I would never look down on anyone for using a coupon, as long as I still got a decent tip. Ultimately, that's all your server cares about”, says Amanda Truscott, a former waitress. [RedPlum.com]

The young and the jobless

The recession may be a reason to cry into your flan for some, but for others -- especially those in "my" generation (Gen Y) -- could it be the best thing to happen to us?

Yeah yeah, we all know the economic pressure has changed many psychological habits, i.e. saving and spending behaviors, but on a larger scale, does it buttress what Generation Y is all about? That is, our collectively lackadaisical care to put forth real effort into anything? The generations before us were all about ignorance or materialism, but according to a new article in The Big Money, we're all about "devastating unseriousness" -- and the offshoots of a terrible economy, such as high unemployment, may seem to work quite nicely with the average Gen Yer's behavior. Translation: Why work when you can collect unemployment?

One unemployed Gen Yer is living out a life dream, traveling India and paying for hostels with unemployment checks. A particularly desperate male had to actually move back into his parents' beautiful two-story house in Connecticut and is on a weekly allowance from the state.

One mid-20s male in Los Angeles that the article came across "was trying to find another job, but was being very selective." He was, "admittedly, being a pompous prick."

Why the inherent urge to laze rather than labor? Consume rather than produce? Isn't that the whole point of looking forward to retirement? The article attributes that to how life was for Gen Yers pre-2007 recession:

Everyone on the Forbes 400 list was a billionaire and The Apprentice was beginning its sixth season. How could there be anything but a thin awareness of real financial
hardship? Go down the list of the things that occupied the cultural imagination during these decades. Start with Baby Jessica and stop when you get to Ritalin. The reality today is not ignorance or even materialism. It's merely a potentially devastating unseriousness, like listing lying as one's favorite activity on Facebook.

Of course not everyone is lazing around, sipping mojitos and collecting unemployment, but the story does seem to bring up a valid point. The lack of urgency in many Gen Yers eyes is what is most startling but may soon change as progress into the next couple of years.

For now, the arrangement seems to be working to many's favor:

"So many people are getting laid off that are married with kids. I'm getting laid off because I hate my job and in the process, I get severance and I get unemployment," says one mid-20s male who lost his job this month. "It's crazy if you think about it, that I qualify for the same thing."

[TheBigMoney]

Learn the Lingo: Balance Sheets

It's not breaking news that most stocks have gone to hell in a Marc Jacobs handbag. With General Motors now trading for under $2 per share, and Citigroup trading under $1, sometimes it feels like this is The End, beautiful friend. (Thanks, Jim Morrison.) Eventually though, whether it be next year or 5 years from now, stocks will rebound and there will come a time when you may *gasp* actually consider investing your money in the markets.

And when that time comes (fingers crossed), you'll be happy you know all the lingo surrounding stocks and trading, right? If you're ever going to invest in the market, you'll need to know the basics. Trust me, you don't want to be stuck at a cocktail party, nodding along cluelessly as those around you discuss balance sheets and debt-to-income ratios. It's not a pretty sight.

That vacation house in Acapulco will always be a pipe dream if you aren't willing to put in the work to get there. Fortunately for you, the work is piece of chocolate ice-cream cake (zero calories, of course).

Not understanding the nitty-gritty in finance (such as what a stock is) would be like trying to do open heart surgery without knowing which heart valve connects to what. Imagine your pot of money as your patient, and you are the doctor. Do you want your patient to live longer and grow, or do you want it to disintegrate and fall apart? I don't know about your neck of the woods, but in mine, it's just considered poor form for a doctor to operate without understanding the fundamentals. This analogy should extend into your fiscal life. Ok, so maybe the stock market, money market funds, CDs, etc. aren't as complicated as open heart surgery, but a gal needs to keep her wits about her when money is involved, which means learning working knowledge of the basics, or terms.

And the term du jour is balance sheet, or a statement of what a company, let's say Google, is worth on the date it's printed. Balance sheets are typically divvied up to you, the shareholder, about four times per year, or every quarter.

Still with me? If you see anything about a "Google's Q1 2008 profits," for example, that means the profits were reported in the first quarter of 2008 balance sheet. Q1, Q2, Q3 and Q4 all relate to which quarter is being reported, and is usually followed with corresponding year. So if you hear about predictions for Google's Q3 09, that would be their third quarter of 2009. Pretty snazzy.

What's on a balance sheet, you ask? Simple. There are three key elements to a balance sheet you should worry about. These include:

Assets, which is another way of saying the financial value of a company. Assets can include anything that could be converted to cash, such as property the company owns, office equipment, etc. On balance sheets, though, assets are usually the sum of liabilities (more on that in a sec -- stay with me!), stock and "retained earnings" (aka earnings that are reinvested in the core business or used to pay off company debt).

Liabilities, or debt the company has.

The Net Worth of a company, which is just the assets minus the liabilities. It gives you a clearer picture of how much said company is really worth.

Whew, that wasn't too hard, right? I know it all sounds dreadfully dull, but you can't increase your savings and buy that Birkin bag without knowing the facts!

Now that you're a whiz when it comes to all things asset- and liability-related, balance sheets are usually split into two parts:

• The first part lists what the company's current assets and liabilites are.
• The second part shows how these assets and liabilites were paid for. The totals for each of these parts have to be equal.

One warning, though. Before you start thinking that all you need is a company's balance sheet before you decide to invest in them or not, you also need to look at the company's income statement, which discusses revenue and expenses. But that's a whole other post unto itself.

The balance sheet is simply one of the many statements that gives you, the shareholder, a better understanding of what you're getting into with a company. For example, if you're considering buying stock in a company with a massive amount of liability (or debt) on their balance sheet, you probably don't want to place your chips on the table with them just yet. After all, every brunette on a budget needs to know when to hold 'em -- and the balance sheet is a great first step in telling you how to play your cards, or savings, accordingly.

And with that, chickadees, I'm off to the warmer pastures of Las Vegas for a long weekend of free drinks, blackjack tables, and possible K-Fed sightings. Arrivederci!

Recession-proof your credit

Picture it: You're so dreading (or behind) on making your next credit card payment that the mere mention of anything related to money makes you want to hunker down on the couch, watch Bridget Jones Diary and lose yourself in a bowl of raw brownie batter. "Call me when I've won the lotto," you think, a helpless look in your eye and a glob of brownie batter on your chin. Who knew it would come to this? Just breathe. It will be okay.

There are two pros to this situation: 1.) Your form of escape (albeit just as caloric) doesn't involve four cocktails and subsequent sobbing through an awkward drunk dial to an ex about how your life is so screwed up, and b.) Now is the perfect opportunity to reevaluate how you got into this mess and take steps so that you won't fall even more behind.

Instead of letting the recession get you down, take charge and get yourself under financial control. Dig yourself out of the ditch, so to speak. For most people in financial distress and falling behind on credit card payments, the natural response is avoidance. (Hello late night Bridget Jones marathons.) But putting it off until later won’t make it go away. Instead, the long-term effects are stress and damage to your credit history.

If you are having difficulty making your monthly credit card payments, address it right away – before you miss payments and your account is reported as past due to the credit bureau reporting agencies. Once your account is reported, it could negatively impact your credit rating, which may then affect your ability to get additional credit in the future. Citi Cards offers some fantastic tips on how to get your payments back on track:

Talk it out. Financial troubles can happen to anyone, so don’t be embarrassed to explain your situation – honestly and immediately – with your credit card company. The sooner you talk to them, the better they’ll be able to help you get your finances under control. From what I've heard from friends and other bloggers, credit card companies are more than happy to work with you on payments, rather than receiving no money or explanation from your side, which leads me to the next tip ...

Work it out. Most credit card issuers want to work with you to come up with a payment plan to keep your account current. Many people experience tough times, but no two situations are exactly alike, so work with your card issuer to see what temporary payment options may be available to you, such as:

• Lower monthly payments
• Reduced interest rate
• Waived late fees and over limit charges
  

Keep track of your account -- automatically. Once you’ve set up a payment plan, help stick to it by signing up for free online tools offered with your credit card. For example, automatic alerts notify you via e-mail or text message about important account activity such as due dates, current balance or payment notifications. Additionally, some issuers offer customers an "auto pay" feature ensuring that you’ll never miss a payment.

Stay the course. Once your payments and account are back on track, resolve to use credit wisely. Easier said than done, I know. But next time you're fantasizing about a new pair of Stuart Weitzman heels, take into account of whether you have the cash, and not the credit, to back up such a purchase, and where that purchase falls within your list of priorities. Do groceries or plane tickets to visit family over an upcoming holiday come before shoes in your life? Be honest with yourself and evaluate your impulse.

Simple is the new black

My boss sent me a video today that made me laugh out loud and almost spit chai latte all over my company computer (which would have made me laugh harder, now that I think about it). The monologue is hilarious because there are fundamental truths in the humor, especially for those of us who believe there is a pervading sense of entitlement within our generations.

I've never heard of this Louis CK comedian, but a friend of Conan's is a friend of mine:



Basically, everything is amazing today (with medicine, air travel, Internet, etc.) and no one's happy even though they are "non-contributing zeros," so Louis CK thinks that maybe it's a blessing in disguise that the foundations of capitalism are being shattered -- that way, we'll all be appreciative of when things get good again.

Economy rocks it like it's 1997

Stocks went into freefall mode again today (this is becoming so cliche), dropping to levels last seen in 1997 -- the same year we were awkwardly coming out of our "ugly duckling" phase freshman year of high school, obsessed with unattainably hot guys and thought "Daria" was the coolest show, like, ever.

The Dow fell 3.4% to close at a staggering 7,114.94. For those unfamiliar with this hodgepodge of numbers, last year the Dow was at a healthy 8,000+. At 7,500 last week, the last vestiges of still-employed investment bankers were retching into their cubicle trashcans. At 7,114, well, let's just say it ain't pretty -- and word on the streets is there's still room for it to get worse.

Enter the Treasury Department. Today the Treasury announced it will launch a new, revamped bank bailout program that would include the option of allowing the government to increase its ownership in financial institutions. Translation: The government wants more of a say in how banks are run, because they are (obviously) doing a crappy job thus far. As you can see by today's steep stock market slide, this news did little to bolster investor confidence.

But there's a difference between the government running a bank, and the government having a say in how it runs itself. The first would be nationalization (which was a hot stock market rumor last week, but turned out to be false when the Obama administration said there would be no bank nationalization and that "private banking is the way to go").

The Treasury said today that beginning on Wednesday, the 20 largest U.S. banks will be required to undergo a new “stress test," which will determine whether each institution has enough capital to survive any further economic spirals.

More details surrounding the stress test will be released on Wednesday by the Treasury, though it did divulge today that if any banks fail the test, the government will require it to raise capital from private sources. If any bank is incapable of raising the money, the bank will be required to swap out the government’s existing, non-voting preferred shares and replace them with new preferred shares that are convertible to common stock with voting rights. Um, what? Basically, as I said earlier, this will give the Obama administration a say -- and not complete governing power -- in the business of each bank, if it comes down to that.

No more Netflix via your mailbox?

When I'm having a bad day, nothing cheers me up more -- retail therapy aside, of course -- than popping open my apartment mailbox and finding a shiny, bright red Netflix envelope waiting for me to rip open and enjoy. But what would I, and thousands of others who might have also had a bad day, do if those fabulous morsels of cinematic delight stop frequenting our mailboxes cold turkey?

Though the red envelope may soon be a way of the past, it doesn't mean Netflix will be abandoning you at least in the next year (sorry, Blockbuster). According to reports from CNBC today, Netflix is considering a service which only delivers movies and television shows through Internet streaming, skipping its traditional mail-order business. Well that's all fine and dandy, but what about those who don't like watching all movies on their laptops? I was fortunate enough recently to buy a giant flat-screen tv (complete with the appropriate laptop hookups) with a Christmas gift card from work, but I know what it's like to own an older boat anchor of a television that only connects to a.) the wall, and/or b.) a dvd player.

Obvi there are pros and cons to this situation, like Netflix will have to spend $70 in IT infrastructure changes to get the plan implemented, but will save a ton of money on shipping, envelopes, dvds, etc. But what about my personal satisfaction of tearing open a familiar envelope and inspecting my (borrowed) treasure inside? At this point, to only offer Internet-streaming Netflix movies is widespread speculation, but Netflix CEO Reed Hastings has said little to ease my concerns. And speculation of this variety tends to end up being true. Look at the Brad and Angelina rumors during the filming of Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

I know, I know, this is the way of the future. Nothing needs to be on paper, dvd, or disc anymore, but I like having something tangible -- a book...newspaper...dvd....abacus..... Sigh, I am officially old. [CNBC.com]